2017 Mixed Bag: Day 121 - Mending Fences

This morning I awoke to find the following hand-written message laying on my pillow next to my head. I’ve transcribed it hereafter for the benefit of sharing its contents. It read as follows:

Dear Lenny:

The following is submitted for your perusal with the utmost respect I can muster. Please treat it with the same.

I have served you faithfully for four (4) years and almost 60 thousand miles. During that time I have never failed you, required repair, broken down or left you stranded. I am eternally appreciative of the time you broke my fall with you leg and lay patiently underneath me (protecting me from the mud and debris) for over one (1) hour until assistance could reach us. Together we have:

Forged the Fall River Road
Discovered Denali
Cavorted with Camels in Kentucky
Bested the Big Bend
Conquered California
Savored Savannah
Outshone the Outer Banks
Accelerated through Arkansas
Collaborated in Colorado

Alas, now that you’re sporting your new Hippie hairdo and have joined forces with Jethro Jeep, I find myself nostalgic and neglected. I’ve suffered the indignity of wearing street tires while my brothers don Doc Martin All -terrain treads. I’ve treated you to Porsche performance and eco-friendly economy. Do you not realize those proudly evolving into my genus and species were born with a wild and barbaric spirit. We are not to be isolated and ignored. We shun garage incarceration and occasional “rides to eat!” We evolved to roam free and eat the open road for our daily sustenance.

For you alone…I unselfishly climbed into the confined coffin carelessly constructed by U-Haul and allowed myself to be shamefully towed by your new mindless, maniacal muse, Jethro Jeep. No sooner than you had arrived in Cool, Colorful Colorado, you Wrapped me up and blind-folded me to the beauty we had once together shared. I was gullible enough to believe that you had come to your senses when you unwrapped me and together we rode off to the Cache Le Poudre, Rist Canyon and parts beyond. I gave you my all! And what did you do? You returned me to solitary confinement and jilted me once again for Jethro the Jerk. Oh, yes…I know you plan to ride me home, but…that’s partially because you’re too cheap to rent another trailer and further humiliate me.

LOOK…I’m not one to mince words…so here’s the bottom line. As nicely as I can put it…”RIDE MY ASS OR SELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO WILL!!!”

Warmest possible regards,

Black Bart Beemer

I was shocked and in total disbelief. I mean, the thought that a BMW GS Adventure could compose a letter was enough (let alone sneak into my bedroom under the cover of darkness), but the sentiment!!! I pulled on a pair of skivvies and raced into the parking lot. I ripped off the callous cover and ran to the front of the bike. There, I realized it was all much too true. Before my eyes I saw a huge tear rolling down Bart’s Halogen headlamp. I raced to his side and threw my arms around his massive, trembling tank. He flinched as though he’d been accosted by a stranger. I did my best to comfort him. I assured him I’d do anything to make amends. Slowly, reluctantly, he softened and began to reluctantly accept my advances.

After much groveling and soul-searching we came to an arrangement. Today, Lizzy and I climbed aboard Bart and rode him high into the Aspen meadows between Phippsburg and Meeker. You should have seen the smile on his oil cooler. He pranced and pawed his way through over 50 miles of dirt and rocks. He stealthily stalked though miles of freshly strewn gravel. He never wavered once. Bart and I are BFFs. As we climbed down from the treacherous mountain maneuverings, I opened him up on the highway heading home! I could swear his mane was flapping in the breeze.

As a further gesture of my good will, we’ve agreed with Bart that he, alone will carry Lizzy and I on a 1600 mile round-trip excursion to Highland Kansas so he can watch the eclipse. At no small expense, we’ve bought him his own Eclipse Goggles!!!

Sorry, Jethro…there are some bonds that are two strong to be broken. And Bart the Beemer…yes!…we still love you. You are our BAT MOBILE!!

We were so into the moments of the day, we almost forgot we had a camera.

Black Bart the Beemer RULES!!